Goodbye Perfection or Failure

I think that it's pretty obvious that I'm not blogging at Perfection or Failure. I hate that the name itself point out the quality in myself that make me dislike myself the most. Just writing a post under that heading felt bad and defeating.  I don't need to see one more thing on losing weight or overexercising or body image, and I definitely don't need to add to the chatter. Funny thing is, since I stopped obsessing on body and fitness, things have fallen into place and it turns out that I didn't need to obsess on things that I wanted to change.  I just needed to change them.

Let's All Cheer for Adam, Okay Cheering's Over*

We're doing P90X Lean (Week 5, Day 2), and I can't believe that I'm still at it. I am getting to the point where I shout out all of Tony H's jokes before he says them (which is annoying to my husband); and it's starting to annoy me that I have to warm up for every cardio workout with a little yoga ... and I love Yoga! But not in my workout shoes. My mat looks like my dog used it for a chew toy.

I have noticed that my jeans are loose, which is great except for the fact that I have to hitch them up every few minutes so that the crotch isn't riding at my knees. I look like my Dad. He was the real impetus for Pants on the Ground.

What's not working for me: reading the recipe for vegan chocolate on Charlotte's website. It is so easy to make my four-year-old can do it - by himself. Yes, I made some with toasted coconut today. I don't keep Agave nectar, but I did have Pennsylvania Maple syrup. I only used 2 tsp. though. maple syrup is really sweet. I thought that I didn't have any sweets in the house, but with this recipe I do. Ugh.

News on the fridge is weird. We turned it off for a couple of days, but left it plugged in for the water filter. I turned it on for some reason and it works perfectly. So, we're okay for now, Whew! Also good: I still haven't taken the dorm fridge we were using out of the kitchen, so that's 3square feet that I don't have to vacuum every morning. And it looks so pretty sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor. Maybe I'll knit a cozy for it so no one will notice it.

*Obscure Tony Horton Reference

21

21 days of exercise in a row. So, isn't this the point where it becomes a habit again? I'm still finding it ridiculously hard to wake up at 5am. I cannot fall out of bed and exercise, so by the time I'm up, coffee'd and ready, it's 6. So we hurry through our workout and morning to get a couple of us out of the door by 7:30. I'm trying to get to bed earlier; but Lost is on tonight.

This morning was X Stretch. After P90Xing all week, this is the 'workout' I need most. I was standing in front of the pantry yesterday, willing some chocolate to appear when I pondered the fact that "Legs & Back" means "Buttocks", because I am so sore there. It does make for fun conversation with my husband while waiting for services to begin:

"You were so good this morning."
"Yeah, but that part against the wall was really hard, my legs were shaking."
"That's nothing, I can barely walk. My butt is killing me!"

My butt hurt so much last night that hubs volunteered to rub it for me until it felt better. I had to assure him that my bum was fine, yes you can stop rubbing it, and no my chest feels just fine too. With all of this exercise I haven't lost one pound. That's okay, because I have made two batches of rolled butter cookies with buttercream icing and crushed mint candy. I have been pretty good with having at least one fruit/veg with every meal. Now that I'm in a routine with exercise, I need to focus on eating properly. One sweet per day will suffice. It will sure beat the sugar with sugar chaser method I've been treating myself to lately.

Bad news: woke up to buzzing fridge this morning. Had a close call in the summer when we needed to replace a switch (for free). The repair guy said that the compressor could go at any time (over $600 repair). Guess what we're looking at? Anyone want a broken Jenn-Aire armoire fridge? I can't justify the expense. I'd like to try to replace the switch again. If that doesn't work, I'll buy a white junker and give the fridge to the repair guy.

Week 2 - Day 5

Of P90X Lean - Legs & Back. I love what working my legs super-hard does to my heart-rate. Never do I get winded from working on my arms, but this leg routine is a huge cardio-vascular workout. I am one of those annoying people who can't keep themselves from chirping out a few 'woots' when I'm having a great workout. Did this a few times today. Tony Horton - you're growing on me.

- Finally got a webcam so that we can Skype with Gran and Pap (hubs used LogMeIn so that he could set up my Dad's computer- another reason he's a keeper), so put up a new profile pic - I HATE pictures of myself, can't help but notice how tired I'm looking today. It's probably a good exercise in just getting over myself. Ugh!

Out of Shape

The last time I did P90X was 1 1/2 years ago. Back then, I would get sweaty and it would get my heart rate up, but I really didn't think that the program was challenging enough. Today I completed Day 3 of P90X Lean (Shoulders, Arms, Ab Ripper X). I'm just going to say, Ab Ripper X is the proof of how out of shape I am. Last go-round, I would finish all of the exercises, even fit in a few extra, and internally scoff at my husband who had to stop and take breaks throughout the workout. I was him today. Although I have to admit, it's a bit hard to get every rep in while holding a conversation about the intricacies of Lego Indiana Jones with my 4 yr old. (Did you know that Lego Harry Potter for Wii is being released in March? I know. All three of my sons are nice enough to remind me of this every. single. day.) I get a gold star on my forehead for not shushing him, or screaming out from the combined torture of Ab Ripping and Lego-obsessed ramblings.

If you see me today, I'll be the one who is having a hard time reaching for my seatbelt, or putting on mascara.

On it's Way:

Wide health club step from Amazon. Used my National City points for an Amazon gift certificate. Now I can do Cathe workouts on a step instead of a balance ball (insane).

Hubs and I are breaking out the old P90X starting tomorrow. We'll be doing P90X Lean. Not looking forward to Kenpo, it always made my knees hurt - so after a couple of weeks we'll substitute with Cathe and Jillian on Kenpo days. Charlotte from Great Fitness Experiment (and Pink on Oprah) inspired me to do P90X again. If you're doing P90X, don't forget that yoga is 1 1/2 hours, so plan accordingly.

Breaking up is hard to do...

We found each other in the Pittsburgh Airport almost 10 years ago in March. You were perfect for me: strong, not too clingy. I was so comfortable with you whether we were snuggling in bed or running around town. People would approach me to ask about you, to gush about how good you looked and how they could find another like you. I knew that you were irreplaceable, I tried, but none could measure up to you. I could count on you through thick and through thin, through good times and bad. I should have known that our time together was about to end. I could see the signs. You were tired, stretched thin. I looked at you today I knew it was over. It should have been over long ago. But I held onto you hoping that I could make it work, maybe we could just be together at home until I found another that could compare to you. You've even had work done so that you would look more attractive to me. But when I held you today I saw you as you really are, not as I remember. I noticed the waist-band half hanging out, the frayed holes, and the fact that I could read a newspaper through you in places that I prefer remain opaque.

Goodbye Gap yoga pants. I will miss you.